Dustin Hoffman, the pint-sized American actor and infectious diseases expert called in to investigate a rash of illnesses at the IDEA Youth Forum, was discovered Saturday afternoon in a local Trest pub after what appeared to be a forty-eight hour bender.
His plastic biohazard suit in shreds underneath the table, a visibly agitated Hoffman began shouting nonsense words at the team dispatched to bring him in.
"He can get really violent when he drinks Gambrinus," said one anonymous source. "And he kept repeating the words 'strawberry dumplings... strawberry dumplings.' We're not quite sure what that means, but we think it might be a term of endearment for one of the women he was with. He can also get quite sentimental."
Hoffman's tirade was only stopped after he destroyed several wooden tables and was taken down with a tranquilizer-filled dart. His publicist was unavailable for comment.
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