Sensationalize This!

Citizen Journalism Workshop director, Jeffrey Romanow, looks to create sensational news of his own. Responding to the charge that the student's stories were too sensational, Jeffrey pointed out that the workshop participants called 'em as they saw 'em. 

Da Judginaters

They come from the future. It’s not just one, there are many of them and they are amongst us. They look and act like real judges, but they are not; they are part human, part robot, part unloved child, but all judge. They have been programmed to say things like: “Thank you for an interesting debate,” “Both sides did a great job,” “This was a very tough decision for me, because I wasn’t paying attention,” or “I have no friends, not even my mother loves me, unless I pay her to.” Watch out for these masters of disguise. They carry long flow sheets and are constantly passing on the duty of timing a debate to someone else. Why? Because the battery in their stopwatches interfere with the radar dish located in their nose holes. Judginators are dangerous contradictions, who are tempted by debate tournaments, but are constantly looking for an excuse to avoid judging, so they can lick the nearest electrical outlet and travel back to where they came, a future of no hope, a future filled with pain, a future ruled by Judginators. The only hope for a better future is the chosen one, that one judge who listens, flows, evaluates fairly, and makes constructive comments – damn, I guess we’re doomed.

Looking far safe haven, IDEA Flees to Prague!

Having been properly chastened by the bears that have been picking off debaters one by one, IDEA has decided that much as we enjoyed Predeal, Romania that we need to flee.

So, we are moving on to Prague, a historic city, that as far as we know contains no bears.

Please join us for debate workshops and the IDEA General Assembly.

Hey Kids! It's Time to Play:

What's on Romanian Television!
The following program aired last evening at 8pm. Using your test form and a sharpened number two pencil, choose the letter that corresponds to the best answer.

The above images represent:

A. Noel Selegzi demonstrating a new IDEA event called "Critical Role Play."

B. The CIA demostrates a new interrogation technique at Guantanamo Bay.

C. A Spanish game show in which participants make complete asses out of themselves to the delight of shrieking fans.

D. Two words: Team Building.

Guilders!

The Dutch Gulden, commonly called Guilder in English, was the currency of the Netherlands from the 15th Century through 2002, when it was replaced by the Euro. Surniname also used to call its currency the Guilder, but in 2004 started to call its currency the Dollar in 2004. In the Dutch Antilles they still use Gulden, but those Gulden were not tied to the Dutch Guilder.

At various times, other coins derived from the guilder emerged. Among them were the daalder of one and a half gulden (30 stuivers) and the rijksdaalder of two and a half gulden (50 stuivers). The names were derived from the German thaler.

Why are we posting information on Dutch Guilders on the blog? Stay tuned for more!!!!

Dear Aino

Aino Fashion Sense:
Aino loves to wear
floral print blouses
made by child labour
camps in Asia.

Dear Aino,

We haven't heard from you since the forum in Estonia. Is everything okay? Where have you been all this time?

Looking for Aino


Dear Looking,

Why don't you go home and look for your personality? Then you can join BBC News, Johnny Ace. Was I where, you ask? I busy making soup and being dead. But I eat soup -- now I'm A-Okay, bucko! Soup cure everything, even stupid questions. Hope you cross-ex better than you write letter to Aino. Okay, you go jump off balcony now -- be fast! You cannot jump slow, I know. Now worry, if you fall and make ouchy mess, bear will eat you like good times on vacation. Excuse me, bimbo, busy lady woman Aino need to step on baby rabbit now.



Dear Aino,

Do you think viewing porn can make you blind?

Stud


Hey monkey, maybe you change your name to loser, no? Every time Aino read your question, she die a little inside. Of course, porn make you blind, can’t you see, Aino wear thick glasses. But still, Aino love porn. Aino addicted to porn and handguns. Aino love porn so much, Aino puts lots of butter and salt on her porn. Porn give good vitamins, but be careful, never stick porn in your eye, then you need glasses. Here Aino advice: change your name to Benjamin Franklin, then maybe somebody like you. Oh no, it’s time for Aino to polish her spoons – later, playa hater.



Dear Aino,

Have you noticed the beautiful landscape in the mountains? It is truly marvelous. After the rain today, I noticed a rainbow, and it was just divine.

Appreciating Nature


Dear Pathetic,

Thank you for saying nothing, MisterYouWasteMyTime.com. Sing Song Time! “Ding Dong, the witch is dead! Bookcase go BOOM on your head.” Listen, Dr. of Dumbass, Aino no like rainbows. When Aino see rainbows, she chokes, because Aino allergic to rainbows. Recess is over – time for school. Learn your facts, backwards boy. Logic is everybody’s friend, but yours. Bows of rain no go in hair, so they no bows. Plus, when rain elbow come, there no rain, so, in factuality, they just curvy colours in wet sky. If Aino want see curvy colours, she take LSD. Aino no wait for rain. Aino old. Aino see curvy colours when she want see colours. You can’t tell Aino what to do! Keep it up and down go your pants – got it? You think you’re better than me? Aino eat dirt! What you eat? Spaghetti? Go back to planet loser lips and flush face down bowl de toilet. I almost forgot: must tell doctor to punch your face. Maybe then, you no waste Aino time. Ooops, Aino lost her teeth. Now Aino must go spit on happy dogs, bye bye!

SHOCKING SCANDAL ERUPTS!

As you all know, during the medieval night festivities, there was a grand contest to win the hand of a fair maiden, the beautiful Romanian Princess Catalina. While many valiant knights from all over the world took up the tasks, it was the legendary South African hero, Popo Mfubu who won the great honour.

Mfubu was humble in victory, greeting Princess Catalina in a gentlemanly manner. However, not too long after medieval night was over, scandal has broke out. Princess Catalina is PREGNANT!

When informed of the news, the brave knight, for the first time in his life, was in a state of terrible fright, muttering, “All I did was touch her shoulder.” Well Popo, a touch is all it takes nowadays.

Will Prince Popo pop the marriage question? That’s not certain. For now, all he’s been popping is his eyes. Bewildered, Popo was heard saying, “Oh my goodness, my mom’s gonna smack my bottom for this!” Fortunately, the distraught Popo is being comforted by his mixed team.

Things are working out much better for Princess Catalina. Just this morning, Catalina gave birth to a healthy, three ounce baby teddy bear. The cheerful mother smiled, “This is truly a blessing. My husband Popo and I are very happy.”

Prince Popo interrupted, “Husband! I just touched your shoulder, lightly brushed it really – accidently.”

Well Popo, that’s all it takes in Romania.

“But I thought it was just a game?” pleaded Popo.

Popo, there are no games in Romania.

But there are baby names. During the baby shower (an all girl party for mother and child), Princess Catalina named the lucky baby, PoCa, after Popo and Catalina. “PoCa, like the dance, but spelled differently,” giggled Catalina to a room full of her jealous girlfriends, which included Barbie and a poster of Hermione from Harry Potter.

Despite Popo’s shock, reluctance, dismay, facial ticks, and panic attacks, it looks as though the regal Princess will carry the new family through all of this. True to her royal elegance, Princess Catalina is a beacon of calm and strength. Catalina promises, “In a few days, when he is strong enough, our baby PoCa will be released into the wild.”

The last they were seen together, the stunning Princess Catalina was explaining traditional Romanian ways to the handsome knight, Prince Popo. Appropriately, things seemed to end happily ever after, when the royal couple finally embraced in a friendly hug.

This just in: Catalina is expecting three more children, PoCalina, CoPo, and Copa Cabana.

Korean Debater Stung by Bee, Rushes to Hospital!

Fresh off of Korea’s Karl Popper victory, proud Korean debater Albert decided to celebrate his nation’s victory by skipping through the fields of wild flowers, berries, and horse dung. “I was so happy, I couldn’t control myself,” said Albert, “Before I knew it, I was nude, running through the meadow, singing Korean national songs.” Albert’s celebratory singing soon caught the attention of a bee, which stung Albert in the neck. “I’m allergic to all types of bugs, but especially to Romanian bees, because they are really fat. They are like Japanese Sumo bees.”

Albert was rushed to a nearby hospital. Ten hours later, Albert reached the hospital, to find that it was closed for a Kitsch party. Fortunately, a skilled janitor opened the door and poured some poisonous bleach into Albert’s wound, and began the surgery.

When Albert awoke, he was back in his room at Hotel Belvedere. “At first, I felt normal, but when I stood up, I noticed a sharp object sticking out of my bummy.” Upon inspection, Albert noticed that he had grown a giant bee stinger. “I tripped over myself, but with a few jumps, soon, I was flying above the entire forum.”

Ever since being bitten, Albert is highly attracted to flowers, spending hours licking them, instead of preparing for the water topic. “I have no time for preparation,” said an upset Albert, “I have honey to make.” Upon saying this, Albert squatted and then jumped back up, revealing a jar of all natural, non-pasteurized, honey.

“Want to try some?” asked Albert.

Upon trying some, I gasped, “What’s in this?”

Albert smiled, “Just my honey, and so it’ll keep well on the shelves, some hydrogenated oil.”

I collapsed to the floor, as volunteers contacted the hospital.

Buy fresh Albert Honey for only 9.99!

Uniting Diverse Topics for a Modest Solution By Jonathan Not Too Swift

People are 80% water. That’s a lot of water ladies and gentlemen, just sitting there, going to waste! I, no I mean we, my team and I, propose a two-part plan. For the first part, I pledge that every old person, everyone over 25, be turned into water, so future generations, the young people, will not be abused by global warming or pollution any longer. What good are you if you are over 23 and filled with water that a poor, starving, thirsty, limping, dehydrated child with one eye desperately needs? Folks, I ask of you, I beg of you, please give your water to the children. I have a plan, dear, honored, wonderful, lovely judges. The CRC is creating a machine, the Miracle Maker, which will squish the water out of everyone over 21 years old. Some may say this is inhumane, but let’s be honest folks, look at old people, they’re already covered in wrinkles. Just some applied pressure, and we can squeeze the last bit of water out of them and put it to good use. Pensioners will become raisins soon enough; we might as well help the natural process, so future generations of children will have lots of fresh water for great summer activities, like making ice, filling up the pool, water fights, and having wet t-shirt contests. For the second part of the plan, once the children are well hydrated, they will be moist and juicy, which makes for good eating – mmmm, mmmm, Kentucky Fried Children. It’s finger licking good – literally.

How to Play Scopa

Though we don't have any Italian cards here, the game of Scopa is becoming increasingly popular at this year's Forum.

For those who would like to learn to play ... click here.

Back in the Hotel Bathroom By Edgar Allan Pour

Even though we have full-sized bodies, hotel bathrooms notoriously provide us with tiny packages of shampoo and miniscule boxes of soap. At first, I’m usually quite excited to have my own tiny packages of hygienic cleaning supplies. In fact, when I begin showering, I eagerly tremble to try out my new soap and shampoo. The little soap box looks at me, asking me to use it. It stares at me, and stares at me. My heart pounds louder and louder. I cannot resist, I must tear open the package. “Look how small,” it is, I convince my reflection in the mirror, “this bar of soap is soooo cute.” With the tiny bar of soap in my hand, I feel like a monstrous giant. Puffing out my chest, I loudly roar, tearing open the package of shampoo, squirting it into my . . . ooops, most of it hits the shower doors instead. The other problem is that I don’t know what to do with the empty shampoo package. I try to place it on the shower tray, but the crumpled package falls right through. As the water pours over me, and I stare at the transparent doors, I wonder why they make shower doors like windows. It’s not like the toilet is a beautiful view. And who wants someone to look in, when they’re scrubbing down there? All the fun quickly dissolves, just like the soap, which midway through the shower pops out of my hand to land into the pool of bubbles below. The water refuses to go easily down the drain – perhaps the drain is too tiny as well. In any case, I soon find myself banging my head against the shower door as I search for the soap in the water below. It’s good that the soap is the exact colour as the shower floor. It’s not so bad, because I can wipe my head against the shower doors, soaking up the last bit of shampoo that landed there earlier. By this time, however, the shampoo has begun dripping into my eyes, so I must resort to locating the submerged soap with my toes. When I think I’ve found it, I slip. Fearing a tragic fall, I grab onto the showerhead cord, which wraps around my neck, choking me. Tied up, I stare down at the tiny bar of soap, which lies only inches away. I try to grab the tiny mangled soap cluster with my eyelashes, but the soap slips away, laughing at me, slowly twirling down the drain, “Weeee!” The room turns an ominous absinthe colour, shrieking violins play, and Alfred Hitchcock’s bulbous profile appears. Gasping, I ask him to help me, but instead, he just mutters something witty in his cute British accent, and walks away. Worst of all, the water is still needlessly running – bye, bye mother earth.

Homework! Fun Fun!

Having trouble figuring out the Tragedy of the Commons article? Here are some handy dandy study questions posted by request!

1. What does Hardin mean when he says that there are problems which have "no technical solution"? What are some of these problems?

2. Why does Hardin bring up the game of tic-tack-toe?

3. What does Hardin say he will attempt to prove in his essay?

4. What does Hardin mean when he says we need to "exorcise the spirit of Adam Smith"? ("exorcise" means to drive out, as in a demon).

5. Why does Hardin call his theory the "tragedy of the commons"?

6. Why, in Hardin's theory, would a herdsman continue to graze the land even though it would be bad for the commons?

7. Explain what Hardin means when he says "freedom in a commons brings ruin to all." How might this analysis be used to formulate a negative argument for our debate resolution?

8. Explain what Hardin means when he says that the "oceans of the world continue to suffer from the survival of the philosophy of the commons." Can you think of specific examples?

9. List several options Hardin suggests for avoiding the "tragedy of the commons" in the US National Parks. Can any of these be used as potential negative counterproposals to affirmative plans? How?

10. What does Hardin mean when he calls pollution a tragedy of the commons in reverse? What does he mean when he says that pollution can be solved through coercion?

11. What does Hardin mean when he says that "the morality of an act is a function of the state of the system at the time it is performed"? Why does Hardin include this key insight? How might this idea be used to critique rights-based affirmative cases?

12. How does Hardin critique the welfare state as it concerns the human population? How does he end up delivering a "painful" critique of the UN's Universal Declaration of Human Rights? How might this critique be employed in a debate round?

13. What does Hardin mean when he says that "conscience is self-eliminating"? In other words, what is the problem with appealing to people's conscience to "constrain their actions for the greater good"?


14. What are the two messages a man receives, according to Hardin, when society appeals to his conscience?

15. Explain the following: "What is the meaning of the word conscience? When we use the word responsibility in the absence of substantial sanctions are we not trying to browbeat a free man in a commons into acting against his own interest?"

16. What does the author mean with his bank robber analogy? What point about conscience and responsibility is he trying to prove?

17. What does Hardin mean by "coercion"? Why is it better than an appeal to conscience?

18. Hardin says "An alternative to the commons need not be perfectly just to be preferable." What does he mean? What are some of the potentially unjust, yet preferable, alternatives to the commons?

19. Brainstorm three separate negative arguments (independent of one another) based on "The Tragedy of the Commons."

20. What kind of a definition of "common property" would a negative need to use in order to win a debate on a "Tragedy of the Commons" critique?

21. List 5 Affirmative cases which would link to a Hardin-based negative case.

The Lonely Little Water Jug, By the Brothers Very Grimm

Once upon a time, there was a jug, who had two plastic step sisters. One made all the drinkers bubble, while the other was smooth and refreshing. “Oh, why aren’t I like my beautiful sisters?” asked the jug. They are tall and skinny, but I’m round and heavy. They are easy to lift and come in different colours like blue, and they have fancy labels made of colourful paper. But I’m difficult to lift, and I’m nothing but a plain, clear, water jug. Nobody drinks from me.

Well, this continued for years, until Tuesday, when suddenly, all the empty plastic bottles had no where to biodegrade. “What’s biodegrade?” asked the jug.

“It takes thousands and thousands and thousands of years for plastic to dissolve into the earth,” said the trash bin, who could only count up to a thousand. “Amongst other things, like gas and boy band music, the earth is being poisoned by plastic.”

At that moment, the water jug looked at the earth, whose water was quickly drying up. “Help me,” said mother earth, “I only have a little bit of water left.”

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer jumped in, “I can save you, I will carry your water in my antlers!”

“That won’t work,” said Snow White, “We must collect the water with our hands and put it into this here jug.”

The last bit of the earth’s water dripped into the jug.

“Now go,” said Queen Latifah, “Go and water those plants, so you will evaporate into the air, condense into the clouds, and fall back down as rain.”

“Or precipitate,” said the water jug, “That’s the earth’s natural water, or hydrologic, cycle. Evaporation, Transpiration, Condensation, and Percipitation!”

“Yes it is, smarty pants,” said Shrek. “Although I love dirty swamps and even dirtier princesses, I too need clean water to live. That’s magical water you got there. It will clean and replenish the earth once and for all.”

“If I do this,” said the little water jug, “will mother earth live?”

“What, can’t you hear?” said Shrek, “I said it’s magical, but you must hurry.”

“I think I can, I think I can,” said the jug, wobbling over to some dying plants. How can I pour myself out, it thought? But then, the jug remembered that it was in a fairy tale, where anything could happen, if you believe. So, the jug believed in herself. “I’m proud to be me,” she said, clicking her ruby red slippers. Then, up she went, tilting, tilting, tilting, she was about to pour onto the flowers . . .

. . . but then, someone snatched her handle and poured her into two bottles. The smelly man blew his nose into one bottle, sealed it, and labeled it no bubbles. Then, the man farted and farted and FARRRR-Rat-a-tat-tat-RRRTED! into the other bottle, quickly sealing it, and then, labeling it bubbles. “There we are,” he laughed, “I can make some sweet money off of this!”

At lunch time, eager diners quickly snatched up the plastic bottles. “Smooth and refreshing,” said one, while the other took a sip and said, “Mine tastes like fart.”

Moral: Exploit the earth while you can make a buck, so you can buy a Porsche.

This Day in Romanian History

In 70 BC, the slave Spartacus led a revolt against the Roman army. Is Spartacus Romanian? Quite possibly. Three out of four doctors think so. But, there is no need to dwell on definitions or statistics, so let’s move on. Some say the greatest Spartacus moment involved several defeats over the Roman legions, thus inspiring movements to empower the social underclass and ethnically segregated. In actuality, Spartacus’s greatest legacy is giving us women who take their clothes off. Spartacus inspires a film version starring American Kirk Douglas and a television film with Croatian Goran Višnjić. Kirk Douglas is famous for being the father of Michael Douglas, who starred in Basic Instinct, with co-star Sharon Stone and Sharon Stone’s body – congratulations! And Goran is in a music video with the beautiful, gyrating hips of Madonna. None of this would have been possible without the great sacrifices made by history’s most famous Romanian, -- all hail Spartacus! Let us now observe a minute of silence . . . and pictures of Sharon Stone and Madonna.