Monday, July 31, 2006

Dear Aino

Aino Fashion Sense:
Aino loves to wear
floral print blouses
made by child labour
camps in Asia.

Dear Aino,

We haven't heard from you since the forum in Estonia. Is everything okay? Where have you been all this time?

Looking for Aino

Dear Looking,

Why don't you go home and look for your personality? Then you can join BBC News, Johnny Ace. Was I where, you ask? I busy making soup and being dead. But I eat soup -- now I'm A-Okay, bucko! Soup cure everything, even stupid questions. Hope you cross-ex better than you write letter to Aino. Okay, you go jump off balcony now -- be fast! You cannot jump slow, I know. Now worry, if you fall and make ouchy mess, bear will eat you like good times on vacation. Excuse me, bimbo, busy lady woman Aino need to step on baby rabbit now.

Dear Aino,

Do you think viewing porn can make you blind?


Hey monkey, maybe you change your name to loser, no? Every time Aino read your question, she die a little inside. Of course, porn make you blind, can’t you see, Aino wear thick glasses. But still, Aino love porn. Aino addicted to porn and handguns. Aino love porn so much, Aino puts lots of butter and salt on her porn. Porn give good vitamins, but be careful, never stick porn in your eye, then you need glasses. Here Aino advice: change your name to Benjamin Franklin, then maybe somebody like you. Oh no, it’s time for Aino to polish her spoons – later, playa hater.

Dear Aino,

Have you noticed the beautiful landscape in the mountains? It is truly marvelous. After the rain today, I noticed a rainbow, and it was just divine.

Appreciating Nature

Dear Pathetic,

Thank you for saying nothing, Sing Song Time! “Ding Dong, the witch is dead! Bookcase go BOOM on your head.” Listen, Dr. of Dumbass, Aino no like rainbows. When Aino see rainbows, she chokes, because Aino allergic to rainbows. Recess is over – time for school. Learn your facts, backwards boy. Logic is everybody’s friend, but yours. Bows of rain no go in hair, so they no bows. Plus, when rain elbow come, there no rain, so, in factuality, they just curvy colours in wet sky. If Aino want see curvy colours, she take LSD. Aino no wait for rain. Aino old. Aino see curvy colours when she want see colours. You can’t tell Aino what to do! Keep it up and down go your pants – got it? You think you’re better than me? Aino eat dirt! What you eat? Spaghetti? Go back to planet loser lips and flush face down bowl de toilet. I almost forgot: must tell doctor to punch your face. Maybe then, you no waste Aino time. Ooops, Aino lost her teeth. Now Aino must go spit on happy dogs, bye bye!

1 comment:

Kajar said...

Aino's back! Yay!